All right, I know I said that Midnight Meat Train was a fairly decent horror movie, but this movie kicks its ass in basically every respect (except for the Vinnie Jones knocking dudes eyeballs out with a hammer category). Then again, there are a few different kinds of horror movie. There’s the slasher, which isn’t really scary at all, there’s the gore movie, which is sort of a hybrid of the slasher and a more psychological movie (I’d put Meat Train here), and there’s the ghost story/psychological horror movie, which actually attempts to scare you. The Orphanage is definitely the latter. So, you really can’t fault Meat Train for being less scary then The Orphanage, it’s a different kind of movie. Nonetheless, The Orphanage is simply a better movie (except in the aforementioned eyeball splatting category), a better exemplar of its particular horror genre.
In short, this movie is scary as all hell. Mainly it’s because little kids are fucking creepy. So are sack cloth masks. Combine them and bam, scary shit. You ever play the old game Sanitarium? This movie reminds me of the evil children level of Sanitarium, it’s got deformed kids, sack masks, that creepy sound of children laughing, etc etc…(although the movie doesn’t have an evil plant alien that you can light on fire, mores the pity). The plot in short: lady + husband move into the orphanage where she grew up with their HIV positive adopted son Simon. Simon has imaginary friends, one (of course) turns out to be a malevolent ghost, Simon vanishes, mayhem ensues. Not to spoil anything, but what happens to Simon is pretty heartbreaking. Anyway, the director (Juan Antonio Bayona) does a great job showing us horrific scenes without blinking, none of that quick cut bullshit that infests most American horror. I’m somewhat at a loss for word right now but if you’re any kind of horror fan you should absolutely see this movie. One of the best horror movies of the last couple years (still not better than The Descent). Strong Recommendation.
